


Well, First You Need To Hit All Their Flags...

by animenutcase



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 07:16:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3641472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animenutcase/pseuds/animenutcase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yep. It's another fill for the Dangan Ronpa Kink Meme.<br/>Prompt was "Nanami mentions in a free time event that she doesn't know where babies come from, so she asks the others during breakfast. Chaos ensues."<br/>There's some bad language in here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well, First You Need To Hit All Their Flags...

It was at this moment that Togami Byakuya (real name unknown) began to regret asking if there were any questions before all of them set out to work on their assignments for the day (The Good Ship Usami wasn't going to build itself). Then Nanami, damn her, had to speak up and ask.

"Where do babies come from exactly?"

The whole room fell silent.

"What does that have to do with our assignments for today?" He asked her.  
"Nothing. But you did ask if there were _any_ questions."

After that, all hell broke loose.

"Not a fucking word, Hanamura." Kuzuryuu growled. Impressively, Hanamura was standing somewhere behind Kuzuryuu, so the latter hadn't even seen the former open his mouth.

"For once, you have the right idea, Kuzuryuu." Koizumi sighed. "We definitely can't have Hanamura telling her about it."

"I don't really see the problem, Koizumi." Owari shrugged. "It's not like it's anything complicated."  
"I agree." Everyone groaned as Komaeda added his agreement. "I'm sure Nanami-san knows what a stork is."

The room fell silent for about 0.2 seconds before Owari spoke up again.

"The hell? What's this about a stork? You get babies from a cabbage patch!"  
"Owari-san, I understand that you've faced many hardships growing up, and that those hardships have made your hope shine brighter, but I sincerely doubt you were honestly brought up to believe that babies came from cabbage patches."

"Hinata, take those two over there and explain it to them." Togami groaned.  
"What!? Why?" Hinata protested.  
"Because you have been designated Komaeda's "handler" so to speak."  
"Since when!?"  
"Since now."

"Wouldn't it be better if we all received this talk together?" Nanami suggested. "Since it doesn't sound like either Komaeda-kun or Owari-san have the right idea."  
"I am _not_ giving the birds and the bees talk to these three." Hinata shook his head.  
"You don't really have much of a choice. There aren't many other volunteers." Togami sighed.

Hinata looked around to see that several of the rooms' occupants had fled in the chaos.

"What the- Where did everyone go!?"  
"I imagine they left when it became clear that someone was going to have to give this talk."

The only ones outside of Togami, Hinata and their three "students" were Koizumi, Kuzuryuu, Hanamura, and Tanaka.

"Why doesn't Tanaka explain it? He's a Super High School Level Breeder, right?"  
"See, Owari-san? I told you it was a stork!" Komaeda piped up cheerfully.

"Fuhahaha!" Tanaka laughed scornfully. "The foolish mortal wishes me to impart the wisdom on the creation of life to-"  
"Never mind, forget I asked." Hinata held up his hand as he interrupted. "What about Koizumi or Kuzuryuu?”  
“I could-” Hanamura raised his hand.  
“No.” Hinata cut him off.

“Why should I have to explain this sort of thing to Komaeda?” Koizumi scoffed. “He should already know about it!”  
“And so should Owari and Nanami.” Kuzuryuu grumbled. “But I’m sure as fuck not gonna teach about… fucking.”

Right as Koizumi was about to scold Kuzuryuu for being so tactless, the rest of the students re-entered the restaurant followed by Usami, who was scolding them for leaving more than half of their friends behind.

“Actually, why doesn’t Usami teach them about it?” Hinata suggested.  
“Eh? Teach who about what?” Usami tilted her head curiously.  
“An excellent suggestion. It’s only fitting that our “teacher” be the one to explain the mechanics of reproduction.”  
“Wh-wha-What!?”  
“Hey, Usami, babies come from cabbage patches, right!?” Owari demanded as she clenched her fist.  
“I…” Usami froze.  
“Don’t even _think_ about running off.” Kuzuryuu growled.  
“I… I don’t know!” Usami shouted.

The room fell silent about three seconds before Togami spoke up.

“What.”  
“I don’t really know anything about how human babies are made!” Usami said tearfully. “I _am_ a rabbit, after all!”

Togami opened his mouth to protest again, only to close it and rub his forehead in annoyance.

“Okay. Fair enough. That does make sense.” He sighed.  
“Um, if I may make a suggestion…” Sonia spoke up. “Rabbits and humans are both mammals, and reproduce in more or less the same way, so perhaps Tanaka-san could…”

“We tried that, and we decided it would be a bad idea.” Hinata waved his hand dismissively.

“Maybe someone could demonstrate?” Nanami raised her hand.  
“That is an excellent suggestion, Nanami-san!” Hanamura piped up. “And I would be more than happy to-”  
“Can someone please take him out of here?” Togami sighed.  
“Hanamura, come here.” Nidai stepped forward. “I’ll do “it” to you.”  
“Eh? By “it”, do you mean…” Hanamura’s face turned excited before it switched to confusion. “But wouldn’t it be better if it were a man and a woman?”

Nidai led Hanamura out of the restaurant without a word.

“So babies are made when men and women do “it” to each other?” Owari eyed the others suspiciously. “But Coach and I haven’t gotten any babies.”  
“Well, we haven’t been here long enough for you guys to have a baby…” Hinata shook his head. “And what Nidai does is actually different from how they’re made, anyway.”  
“So how are babies made, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda gave Hinata a curious look.

“We might as well just fucking give it to them straight.” Kuzuryuu gave an exasperated sigh. “It’s when a guy puts his dick in a woman’s cunt and finishes inside her.”  
“KUZURYUU!” Koizumi shouted furiously.  
“Like you’d know about either of those things.” Saionji giggled maliciously.  
“What’d you say!?” Kuzuryuu ignored Koizumi and rounded on Saionji.  
“Do you even have a dick?”  
“Why you little-” Kuzuryuu growled as he began to undo his pants. “Doubting my manhood? I’ll fucking show you!”

“Wait, Kuzuryuu, don’t-” Hinata moved to stop him, but it was too late.

For a moment, the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. It took several seconds for Kuzuryuu to finally realize what he’d just done. In the end, though, it was Saionji who broke the silence.

“What the hell!?” She shouted. “Gross! Who just exposes themselves in front of so many people!?”

Koizumi’s face was beginning to turn red with rage, and she didn’t seem to be able to get a coherent word out. Usami, meanwhile, seemed too horrified to speak.

“So “dick” is just another word for a guy‘s “front tail”?” Owari scratched her head in confusion. “What’s a “cunt” then?”  
“Owari, I don’t think you should be using that word in front of Koizumi.” Togami spoke quickly as he watched Koizumi’s face turn purple. “To put it in your words, however, you might call it a woman’s… “front hole”…?”  
“Oh!” Apprehension lit up on Owari’s face.  
“So can someone demonstrate?” Nanami asked.  
“No.” Togami shook his head furiously. “No, we are _not_ having anyone demonstra-Kuzuryuu, wipe that idiotic look off your face and put that thing away!”

Kuzuryuu, who had just been standing there with a horrified look on face upon realizing that yes, he had indeed just whipped his dick out in front of his classmates, quickly complied with a red face.

“So a man has to put his penis inside of a woman’s vagina…” Komaeda nodded. “But what does it mean to “finish inside” her?”  
“Komaeda, do you know what masturbation is?” Hinata sighed.  
“Ah!” Komaeda nodded. “I actually do.”  
“Well, it’s like that, only instead of your hand, it’s…”

“I see.” Owari nodded. “So that’s how babies are made.”  
“Well, that’s the gist of it.” Hinata sighed. “There’s a lot more on the actual mechanics of making a baby, but sex is basically how all of it comes about. Well, I guess artificial insemination is possible without sex, but…”

“Artificial insemination?” Nanami’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “How does that work?”

Everyone else let out a groan.

\------

“So… what exactly happened?” Naegi Makoto asked as he watched the remains of what was once the hospital on the third island burn.  
“After Hinata-kun and the others explained the basics of artificial insemination, Nanami-san, Owari-san, and Komaeda-kun got the idea to create a baby using what they were told.” Usami tearfully explained.  
“I’m pretty sure the hospital created by the Neo World Program isn’t equipped for something like that.” Togami Byakuya scoffed.  
“That’s what I tried to tell them.” Usami sobbed.  
“I don’t understand how the whole building blew up.” Hagakure Yasuhiro stared at the screen in wonder. “There’s nothing in the program that should be able to set off an explosion. How does someone do this on accident!?”  
“Well, it’s not like we won’t be able to fix the hospital.” Asahina Aoi shrugged. “It might be tough explaining how it got re-built overnight, though.”  
“I just hope that none of them try to make a baby the old-fashioned way.” Kirigiri Kyouko sighed.  
“I do! I bet it’ll be steamy!” Former serial killer Genocider Syo gave a hearty cackle.  
“Please stop talking.”


End file.
